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The shifting gender balance in Korea means yet another reversal of traditional roles: young men waiting anxiously for their girlfriends to return from their studies abroad. Once upon a time, it was only the women who had to wait while their boyfriends completed their mandatory two years in the military.
At Yonsei University last year, 417 female students took part in an overseas exchange program, more than double the number of male participants (170). At Korea University, the ratio was 200 men to 408 women, and at Sungkyunkwan University, 165 male students took the chance to study abroad, compared with 249 female students. If men are more reluctant to leave, it is partly because going on exchange programs delays graduation, and many feel they have already lost two years in the army. But it is also because their GPA is often lower than that of their female counterparts.
The stay-behind men make every effort to keep their absent girlfriends committed. Sending daily necessities, which are cheaper in Korea, is nothing special. They also send cakes and gifts for birthdays or ValentineĄŻs Day. Lee Ji-hyun, a Korea University student who returned from a student exchange program in Britain, says her boyfriend rang her in the U.K, at midnight on her birthday even though he was in the military at the time. Many lonely boys send birthday presents by courier.
The separations can be the cause of some distress and anxiety. KwakĄŻs girlfriend went on a language course abroad eight months ago. He says itĄŻs hard for him to think that she will be meeting other men at parties. He prefers to give her accessories, which are easier to send because they are small, and also because he thinks his girlfriend will be reminded of him every time she wears them. And since love goes through the stomach, he also sends snacks and cookies his girlfriend likes.
Sung Young-shin, a psychology professor at Korea University, says as parents try to raise their daughters as independent people, women have learned to balance masculine and feminine qualities, and men are becoming more feminine. Park Eun-ah, a psychologist at Daegu University, said the trend can also be seen in the increasing number of young men who have older girlfriends, seeking comfort and strength in their maturity.
(englishnews@chosun.com )
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