The Korean word ¡°ajumma¡± means a married woman or woman old enough to get married, but it has negative connotations when used in everyday life. Few women would be pleased when they hear someone calling them ¡°ajumma¡± from behind. Some would just pretend not to hear and walk faster in the belief that it cannot possibly mean them, while others may get upset and ask the caller, with a shrill edge to their voice and a wobble of the head, what makes him or her so sure that they are married. The Chosun Ilbo has a handful of tips on avoiding such vicissitudes altogether.
Situation 1 : On the bus or subway
The ajumma tends to step on someone¡¯s foot and give them a dark look when they say ¡°ouch¡± instead of apologizing. She is not ashamed of nudging someone¡¯s bottom with an umbrella on the bus or subway to occupy a seat, and weighing down a person next to her by not taking hold of a handle in a joggling bus or train. What is worse, she shouts into her cell phone so everyone around can hear, and it is never even about serious matters. A lady, by contrast, says sorry when she breezes past, and is told it¡¯s all right in reply: the magic word. Strictly speaking, it is pukkah to refrain from talking on your mobile altogether in a public place. If you get to get a call, keep it short and call back later.
Situation 2: In the health center or sauna
The ajumma shows no consideration for others. She takes her time in using a massage machine at a health center even if there are people lining up to use it. She also tries to butter up young trainers. She offers to buy lunch or dinner for them or asks them to analyze her body composition to have a moment with them without good reason. In the sauna, should the ajumma let out a fart and people stare at her, she will just leave without saying sorry. Ladies show respect to everyone, even their juniors. They are well aware of etiquettes in public places. They tend to be strict with themselves and generous to others: with ajumma it is the other way round.
Situation 3: Shopping
When shopping in a flea market, the ajumma does not hesitate to throw money short of the price at the vendor without saying a word. Even when she shops for expensive items, she first tries to haggle the price down to half rather than checking other services offered. She treats staff at gas stations or restaurants with contempt because she thinks that makes them think she is a big fish. In addition, the ajumma is so vulgar that she buys expensive designer clothes without batting an eyelid but tries to save money on the hairdresser. Ladies do not seek a discount at all cost. They know to be frugal, but haggling is not their style: instead, they negotiate, taking the seller¡¯s position and the situation into account. Tipping does not make you a lady, but saying thank you and being civil does.
Are you an ajumma? A checklist, somewhat slanted to the men¡¯s point of view.
1. Do you have a potbelly?
2. Do you carry a big handbag that looks like a diaper carrier?
3. Do you fail to keep your hair tidy?
4. Do you tuck your underwear in properly?
5. Do you throw your bag on an empty seat to secure it when you get on a bus or subway?
6. Do you talk loudly on the phone in public?
(englishnews@chosun.com )
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