Sex -- it can prevent aging, improve immunity, and cultivate love and trust between husband and wife. But many Korean women have given up on sex or consider it an obligation to be endured, a survey shows. The study of 1,000 married women between the ages of 20 and 50 conducted by the Chosun Ilbo, the Korea Institute of Sexology and Pfizer Korea, found that 16 percent of respondents had sex only once in the last two months or not at all. Including women who make love once a month at most, three in 10 married women would be considered celibate. Among married women in their 50s, 43 out of 100 have sex once a month or less.
Of course, sex is not everything in a marriage, and few experts would classify celibacy as a disease. Among couples who have been in stable relationships over a long time, some have sex only once or twice a month. But specialists point to concerns over the reasons respondents proffered for their abstinence. Thus some 29 percent of celibate respondents said they avoided sex because it was bothersome or they did not like it, 33 percent said their lives were tiring, and 14 percent said they felt no sexual attraction or affection for their partner.
"Because sex is an important means to amplify feelings of trust and closeness between husband and wife, there are many celibate couples who cannot resolve conflicts easily or feel their married lives are unsatisfactory," Korea Institute of Sexology president Lee Yun-su said.
Many couples report quarreling or fighting cold wars due to sexual problems. "I dislike having sex, and when I'm forced to do it because of my husband, I often hate the sight of him," said a 38-year old woman who has been married for eight years. "When I get home from work, all I can think about is getting the housework done quickly and going to sleep. But my husband keeps asking me to do it... If I do it out of a sense of obligation, both my husband and I feel bad. I'm starting to wonder why we live like this," she added.
Among celibate couples, satisfaction with their marriage is low. In the survey, celibate women made up 9 percent of those who said they were content with their marriage, but 34 percent of those who said they were dissatisfied, suggesting a direct link. Some 30 out of 100 celibate women had considered divorce due to sexual problems, a much higher percentage than the overall average of 9 percent.
(englishnews@chosun.com )
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