June 13, 2007 09:23
Talkative women succeed. That is the message from Gook Soo-kyung, Lee Myung-a and Kim Nan-hee, three magazine reporters who have interviewed literally thousands of successful people.
"The number of interviewees combined would amount to about 3,000, and one of the features they had in common is that they are talkative. They chat for communication, information collection, human networking management and even self-healing."
Now, the three women have published a book about human networking through a conversation. They share their tips for the right kind of talk with Chosun Ilbo readers.
Speed: Set the topic of conversation quicker than others. You can form an image as a confident and positive person, and at the same time you can maintain the lead.
Smile: It's great if you can make others laugh. But if you are not good at making people laugh, and then try to laugh well -- people like someone with a sense of humor and someone who smiles.
Lip Service: Pay lip services and capture your company's heart. Compliments make your counterpart feel good and make you more attractive. But keep compliments brief and do not repeat them.
Story: It gives flavor to chat. Prepare various subjects at usual time and tell stories that fit the venue and company. If you don't have a specific subject, then start a conversation with the weather, health, current affairs, work and family.
Chat is informal and casual, but be careful not to talk too much and bore others. This is why you should need some techniques, such as the 1,2,3 rule: talk for a minute, listen for two minutes and respond three times. "The key to Oprah Winfrey's success as a talk-show host is her sincere response to others when they talk," they say.
The second step is body language. Use gestures and slightly exaggerated facial expressions. The third step is modulating your voice. A staccato touch will make your voice fresher and more attractive. "Kim Won-hee and Park Kyung-rim are exemplary cases. Albert Mehrabian, in a book called 'Silent Messages,' says story accounts for 7 percent of communication, attitude for 20 percent, facial expression for 35 percent and voice for 38 percent. Make a three-minute speech in front of a mirror every day."
◆ Chat for Teamwork and Human Networking
How can we ensure that a lively exchange of information and effective building of human networks? Start with a 10-minute chat. You can smooth the atmosphere in the workplace by chatting and facilitate teamwork. Strategic chat is also important. "I once interviewed staffers with Chonggakne to ask their key to success. There were 10 male staffers who kept chatting with customers. Their subjects varied from a good eye for products, common sense about health to saying hello to other family members. Housewives seemed to get really absorbed in that chat."
To build a personal network, chat with colleagues over lunch. You can build a strong human network by turning the lunch hour to good use. You can get access to unexpected high-quality information when you chat with colleagues who work in very different fields. It helps if you know several good restaurants, for example. Keep a pen handy anytime and anywhere: some of the most important issues come out of chat. Jot down whatever you hear, and you will soon be called on as an idea bank.
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